Wednesday, October 28, 2009

3 years

Today is the anniversary of my baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
It has been three years since that day. That day when I knew my whole world would change. I remember waiting for my mom to drive me to the baptism. I was scared. I knew that this was a choice bigger than I could comprehend, but I walked forward into the baptismal font. Dressed in white a Priesthood holder immersed me into the water representing Christ. He is there to symbolize Christ and the covenant I was making with him. That if I joined this Church, I was making a big promise. A promise to live a clean, faithful life. He immersed me into the water washing away my past self. When I came out of the water I remember feeling so clean. I felt so happy, like I could never do wrong. I timidly said thank you to the missionary who baptized me and went to change into dry clothes. I remember falling to my knees in the dressing room. Dripping wet I muttered a simple prayer of thanks. I have no recollection of what I said, but I remember feeling so grateful.

Three years have past and I have grown. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually. I never thought I could be where I am today. Married to a wonderful man, still striving to fulfill my end of my promise to Heavenly Father. Baptism isn't just about my promise though. A covenant has two ends. If I hold up my end, Heavenly Father has to hold up his. My end of the deal is to try my best. To give my greatest effort. Heavenly Father promises me that if I do that, no matter how meek, small, insignificant as it may seem to the world, he will know its my all. He promised a Savior to make up the difference, someone who would wash away the mistakes (which are inevitable) and cleanse me over and over. As long as I was sincere and continued forward Heavenly Father would grant me exaltation. Exaltation is immortality and eternal life with Him and my Savior.

I remember learning this throughout my 3 years. Pieces would click like a puzzle and gradually I gained a remembrance of things that I had learned before, not in this life but before I came to this earth. I was with my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I knew the plan. However, I was not raised in the Church and thus did not gain access to that knowledge until I was 18 years old. Over these three years my knowledge has grown. I thank Heavenly Father for providing me the capability to learn so quickly and understand the bigger picture. I know it has been Him with me, the entire way. Teaching me principles and preparing me little by little.

I am so grateful to be a member of this Church. I cannot deny the testimony I have received of this Church. It makes sense to me that God would continue to send revelation, because He loves us and He wants us to receive every possibility we can to learn. It makes sense not to drink alcohol or smoke or do drugs or even drink coffee. It makes sense that babies are innocent and if they died before they are eight, they are not accountable because they are innocent. Heavenly Father would not condemn them if they can't make choices on their own. It makes sense that I should be sealed to my family, my husband, for eternity. Family is the building block of this world. It is divinely created and I am so grateful for my family and my husband. It makes sense to have the Book of Mormon. It is so engaging and teaches such true principles that I cannot deny its truth. Judge that by its fruit. The Book of Mormon changes lives. Those who read it and abide by its doctrines and follow what it teaches will be better people for it.

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and for a Savior who suffered for us. I know that this Church is true and I am proud to call myself Mormon.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I am a doodler. Some might think that I am distracted by it but in reality....I think it helps me listen.

I have always believed that I had slight ADD and in my mind just trying to focus me on one subject or thought makes me go a little bit crazy. But if you can get me to write or participate somehow...its not so bad. Well I basically have three lecture classes....this results in doodling when the professor is going on and on and I have nothing to write down anymore.

I wish I had pictures but I will tell you what I doodle:

my house
the cover of my book
witches (these last two are seasonal)
random lines

i wierd. i know.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Letting Things Go...

Recently Kyle made a comment to me after I was upset over something. He said, " You have a hard time of letting things go."

This may or may not come as a surprise to you...for me it clarified a lot of feelings I have had all my life. Sometimes you just need someone to point it out for you...

I have an extremely hard time letting parts of my life past. Once they are past, I resent anyone that gets to continue on in my stead. I look at them with extreme jealousy while remember all of the wonderful memories I had and they will continue to have. Need examples?

High School Drama Productions

I came back to a couple of shows after graduating only to feel a sore spot. I wanted to be on the stage. I missed it a lot. UW drama is a lot different and more vulgar than high school so I resisted getting involved....Whenever a song comes on from one of my past high school musicals I sing with gusto and kinda sucks...

Camp Dudley
This place has been such a HUGE part of my life. Heck I met my husband of course it has a lot of significance in my life. I have gone every summer since 1999 and this past summer was the first that I didn't go...It was HARD. Not being there I cried at home but it was worse being there for a short amount of time. I was SOOOO jealous of all the new counselors and all the memories and trials they would share

I am still involved in institute, I still go to classes and feel like I am fairly well known there. But because I am's a little different. I don't feel like I can get AS involved because in reality most of it is mainly for Young Single Adults....I felt a tinge of envy for all of the new people who showed up for the opening social... Kyle and I arrived late because they asked us to help out..well they didn't even need I just got to observe and get mad...HOORAY! NOT.


I miss EVERYTHING about this place....