Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Riding in Cars with Boys

I know that is the title of the awful Drew Barrymore movie where she plays a teenage mother in the 70s....

Take the phrase literally, and subtract the plurality of the statement.

I like riding in cars with Kyle. Kyle is a crazy driver and most of the time I am on the edge of my seat waiting for us to crash so it's kinda like being on a roller coaster.

But that isn't why I like riding with him. Our drive from our apartment to school is about 15 minutes long and we take the same route always. It has become a routine to see particular businesses, houses, buses, and even people along our way. We also listen to the radio jumping songs until we both agree on one, or it makes us laugh the most.

Since Kyle has consistently had an 8:30am class every quarter since we have been married we always will catch 106.1 comedy short by some random comedian which usually makes us laugh hysterically.

Kyle darts around cars and speeds in between the others. Not because we are running late (it happens rarely) but because its habit to want to get to our destination fast.

I love riding in the car with Kyle because he its routine. It's a good routine that I cherish. For the most part it is usually the most amount of time in the day when we can really focus on each other without the distraction of school, work, homework, or church.

I love that the buses are our enemy because they always seem to get in the way. I love that if a car is slow we assume its an old woman. I love the random runners down 15th ave (who really don't know how to run), and the mopey girl we always see when pulling into the institute.

Some may think the commute is obnoxious but I count it as a blessing. A blessing that I look forward to always.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sunday can be the best day

I have been getting a little apprehensive about Sunday's being all Heavenly Father promises them to be.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believes in keeping the Sabbath Day (Sunday) holy. This means a couple of things:

-Going to Church, taking the sacrament and going to other meetings
-Not going shopping, out to eat, etc.
-Focusing upon Christ and all he has done for us
-Spend time with family
-Try not to do homework, watch tv or movies that don't reflect thoughts towards Christ

Lately after Church I have been conking out for a few hours. Catching up on all the stress built up and such. Sunday napping is a great activity, however its all I have been doing besides visiting teaching on Sundays. This has gotten a little old.

I was talking to Kyle about it and complained about how Sundays are all the same and I am getting bored of it.

So we decided that Sundays will now be our hiking days. We will go to parks, go outside in general and walk and observe all that has been created for us.

Yesterday was a wonderful Sunday! I was so grateful for Kyle's willingness to brighten my spirits even though it was cold and rainy. We drove to Seward Park which is past downtown Seattle and walked into the woods and along the shore. It was beautiful and even though it was raining it was just what I needed to remember all that I CAN do on Sundays.

I am grateful for realizations such as this. Heavenly Father does not want us pent up in our home wallowing in despair for all that we "can't" do. He wants us to take a day to realize all that is behind us, all that is ahead of us, and all that He has done for us.

It's amazing really.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Humble Beginnings

Lately I was reminded of how much growth is still left in me.

You see I am the type of person who thinks they have it all figured out. Secretly I know I don't, but I put on a facade and mostly everyone around me thinks I am super confident, peppy all the time, and that I have it all figured out.

Don't get me wrong. I do have some things figured out.

I thought I had one particular thing figured out. I could talk about it and teach lessons on it (in fact I have). However, I have been making a personal mistake regarding this particular thing for awhile, without noticing.

To make a long story shorter. Someone corrected me about it. Thankfully it was in private because I am embarrassed easily. I kept my game face on but in the car I cried.

I cried for a lot of reasons:

2.I hate making mistakes
3.being a convert is hard sometimes

As a convert you transfer many things from your pre-mormon life. You grew up being taught something completely different about everything you know now. Not to say that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is so vastly different, it's really not, but there does take some adjusting.

After 3 years I figured I was solid on this subject, and I was doctrinally. But the mistake was in actual implication and sometimes you just hate making mistakes as a convert. It brought me back to when I was first baptized and I would make so many mistakes and have to be corrected on it and it just stung. Every time I made a mistake it felt like there was a huge neon sign over my head flashing FAILURE! Dramatic yes, but hey that's me.

However I learned something from this experience this time. When praying I thought about it and I realized how much it had humbled me. Heavenly Father was showing me how much growth I still needed and how I would and still make mistakes as much as I like to think I don't.

I am grateful for this experience and for a loving Heavenly Father who teaches us in such a gentle and kind way. He knows us so well. He knows what we can handle and what we can become.

Monday, January 18, 2010


I have almost recovered from a day of sickness.

Yesterday I woke up and felt AWFUL. Kyle had to lull me out of bed so we could get a seat at Stake Conference. Conference was really good except for the fact that I felt like vomiting. I have thrown up in about 2 years. Its always an awful experience for me, I usually end up crying for my mom and no one likes to see that....

I have been trying to figure out what this sickness is and where it came from.


-work; Thursday my boss called me at 6:30 am asking if I could come in and cover for her. Then my coworker (also my boss's roommate) informs me that my boss got it from her....

-Grandma's cooking; we went over to the grandparents on saturday to do laundry, visit, and get a free meal. She made hamburgers and they were cooked but I haven't had red meat in a while I realized so maybe my body is rejecting it? I heard it can happen....

-Staying up late to see Avatar in 3D; I don't think the movie itself made me sick. I actually enjoyed it. But the 3D glasses gave me a headache and we ended up getting to bed at some ridiculous hour because the earlier showing was sold out....

Either way I am on the way to recovery. After a bajillion hefty naps and making Kyle be my man slave I finally feel better.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Yesterday I was able to hear about Joseph Smith and his interactions with the law. Over the course of his life he was involved in over 200 trials. That is a lot. There is no record of him ever being convicted guilty in any of these trials (he wasn't always the one being charged either). But what struck me most was his first trial.

It was 6 months before he received the first vision. His father, brothers, and himself were hired by someone do perform labors. The employer didn't give full payment and so Joseph's father (Joseph Smith Sr) sued. In the records of this trial it shows Joseph Smith Jr and his brother as witnesses for his father. Well you had to be eighteen in order to automatically be a witness. Otherwise the judge would have to interview you and see if you were a credible witness as a child. This is the case today and in Joseph's time. Well because Joseph Smith was a witness he was found as a credible witness to testify on his father's behalf.

The speaker literally said, "a credible witness to testify on his father's behalf"

This struck me so hard....

This was before his vision, before his translation of the Book of Mormon, before his restoration of the Priesthood keys, of temple ordinances.

Replace "father" with "Heavenly Father" and you might see where I am going with this.

Joseph Smith WAS a credible witness to testify of his Heavenly Father. He was not someone who would lie or be a fraud, he spoke the truth.

This experience reaffirmed my testimony of Joseph Smith as a prophet of God. I am so grateful for his life and all that he has done to restore the simple and wonderful gospel truths I now believe.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Little Things

I wish I could take pictures of the children at my work. Unfortunately its illegal.

I love these little ones.

I was having such a bad day yesterday and Kyle could tell as we were driving to work. This quarter is requiring much more of me than I thought and I am exhausted. The last thing I wanted to do was go to work.....

But I got there and soon Clara came in. Clara has a rough time when her mom leaves but last time I managed to calm her down. Yesterday was the same. Her mom tried acclimating her slowly but I knew she just had to leave and I could get Clara to calm down. She cried so hard when her mom left but I just held her and took her to the window to point at cars going by, saying each color:

black car
red car
white car
silver car

She calmed down and soon was ready to play with the sister at the princess castle. We sat and held a dolly and sang "Rock-a-by-baby." Another child started crying so then I managed two. Two sad little girls. I sang "I am a child of God" to the smaller one and she calmed down (this works for many children, especially babies I found out). Then we all read together.

It was lovely and I realized that I was no longer exhausted.

There is something about working with children that is so selfless. You don't get to worry or complain (as much) because they have higher priority.

I truly believe that the Lord give you energy and the capacity to move forward. To keep going.

I am not a mother yet, but I cant wait. It's days like yesterday that give me so much happiness for the future.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


We all have potential to be someone amazing. Someone who changes the world. Someone who is loving, kind, generous, graceful, etc....

The best is seeing potential in someone else though and watching them realize it for themselves.

This is one of the greatest blessings of working with young women. In today's culture they are thrown so many messages that contradict. Its easy to get confused but oh so rewarding to find your identity and grow.

I love the potential we all have.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Two nights ago me and the hubby were canoodling and he sighed, "I love your kisses"

I was instantly curious as to what brought that thought about (we were kissing but that is besides the point...right?)

So I ask: What are they like?

I want to know what makes him like them so much, seems like a simple question to me...

He says: Like fresh bread.......and laying your head on a soft pillow...


I mean this boys LOVES his bread and I think he was really tired hence the pillow comment but this was definitely NOT what I expected to hear.

Maybe "Like my heart is filling with sunshine" or something cheesy like that

I love these little moments where life is so unexpected and spontaneous. It makes my heart fill with sunshine : )

Monday, January 11, 2010

Speaks to My Heart

What the sister says at 2:36 touched my heart so much. It is a message that I have heard three times in 2 days and definitely something that is important for me to understand in my life right now.

I love the way the Lord works. All who are here on this earth are here for a purpose for a reason. Esther 4: 14 ( and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this? )

Sunday, January 10, 2010


Eternal covenants are just that: eternal. They are forever, bound beyond time and space. However, this depends upon our faithfulness, our love, and devotion.

Today I became very thankful for my husband, my eternal marriage, and the future ahead.

Honestly I get a little depressed when I see pictures or read about devout LDS families and their time together. I get envious easily for what others have. This often blinds me to what lies before me.

I am so blessed to have a virtuous, kind, and devoted husband. I love him as much as I do because of the love he offers me. It is simple but often so profound.

He is gentle but assertive. I am so blessed to have him in my life because I know that our family will be strong. We will have strong traditions and values and our children will grow up not having to be envious because they will feel the happiness that comes from our home. They will want to continue it in their own home.

I am so blessed to be a part of the sacred covenant of eternal marriage. Because of it, I know that I was foreordained for this time, to be a mother, a wife, and a friend.

I feel so blessed.

Friday, January 8, 2010

New Perspective/Approach/Etc.

I have been thinking about this blog a lot.

At first I had a blog to document my time in Rome (hence the URL), then I wanted a blog because everyone else has one and I am not going to lie I wanted to do what everyone else was doing (I tend to be like that).

However, I found that I wasn't really enjoying blogging. I felt like my posts were beyond random and connected in no way.

So I started to think and conjured up a couple of different ideas.

Ultimately considering blessings in my life won out.

There is something so wonderful about realizing blessings. It revives the spirit and gives perspective on life. So I am happy to say that this is a the new start of this blog.

I am thankful for decision making.
When its happening its AWFUL. It seems as if your innards are being pulled apart by the universe. Your worldy desires clash with your secret wishes. Your need for acceptance against something that will surely set you apart and up for critique. However, nothing feels better than finalizing your decision and realizing it is so totally perfect for you.

Last quarter I applied for Graduate school, I was all set and even got an interview. This is what my college education had been built up for, right? My whole family was planning on this, my mom LOVED the idea, and everything was going so smoothly. It seemed like a good sign.

Then a few quiet whispers came and plagued my mind for months. The issue: starting a family. I kept imagining beautiful babes and wily toddlers bring joy and purpose to each day.

I thought and prayed and fasted and went to the temple. However I still was so unsure.

I decided that I would figure it out by the time interviews came up and I was right. I received an interview for graduate school and upon going to a meeting to learn about the program I opened myself up the best I could to the whisperings of the Spirit.

The entire time my mind, heart, and soul told just wasn't right. The feeling was so sound, so secure. I knew that declining the interview and grad school and having a family was the right choice. After the meeting I walked outside eager to call Kyle and got no reply. Instead I walked in silence against the dark navy sky.

I was overcome with an image of a baby son in my arms, my heart filled with such warmth and happiness that I knew without a doubt in my being that this is what was right.

I am so grateful for decision making and its outcome and the growth that comes with it. I am even more grateful for children and for families for the the pure joy they bring to this world.