Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm Doing it For Me

Spring Quarter has started but I am not involved. Instead this past week I have been sleeping in, reading, watching tv online, and feeling unfulfilled.

My whole life has been go to school, an education gets you a good job, it grants you security, happiness....

We were all fed this. We were told that college was absolutely necessary (I am not saying it isn't important). But now that I have decided to forgo a masters in teaching and become a nanny expecting to expect one of her own soon I can't help but feel as if I am disappointing everyone around me (the exception being my husband).

I was supposed to go to college and do important things. Change the world. But I realized along the way that the way I felt I was best suited and gifted to change the world was through children, through youth.

Retail and desk jobs don't work for me. Children with their bright future and limitless possibilities did. I work well with them. I understand them. I know how to communicate with them. It's what makes me happy knowing that I can help them even if it is knowing how to calm them from crying.

For the longest time I channeled helping children/youth through the medium of teaching. I thought, this is really the only "real" profession that fits. Right?


I don't care what anyone says anymore. I don't care that you don't have to go to a university or get a masters degree, being a mother is a REAL job and it has the most real consequences and changes that this world will EVER see.

Not getting my masters in teaching changed how I channeled my energy to work with children. I decided that being a mother was the best thing I could ever do.

I got a job as a nanny this past week until I become pregnant and can no longer work. This IS what I want to do with my life.

I vow from here on out I will no longer let the things others say, the looks, the tone of disappointment affect how I feel about this decision.

I am doing it for me. Because I know it is right.

No it is not the most appraised profession in the world. But I believe it is the most important. I will give my children the full love and attention they deserve. I will raise them to the best of my abilities to be loving, kind, responsible, respectful, and faithful. This I will do with my B.A. in English Lit.

I went to college to grow, learn about the world, and discover who I am.

I have discovered I am a mother. To the deepest bone in my body.

Friday, March 26, 2010

I survived

I am alive. A bear didn't eat me because Kyle had a gun. I had a pocket knife. Kyle bought it for me. It's bright pink and I carved a stick with it. For roasting my hotdog and marshmellows.

Camping was good. It was raining pretty bad when we woke up so we packed up and headed home. We were planning for two nights but decided hanging out with family would be just as good.

It was and is.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


I am done with school. Super anti-clamatic. I milked it too early.

Kyle I deserve a a cupcake because I will soon be done with school. Kyle I deserve to go out to dinner because I am almost done with school. Kyle...Kyle...and finally when I really was done. He was done. He asked what I wanted, and made me realize I didn't NEED it and had been milking already too much.


Currently I am watching Dancing with the Stars. I have never watched this show in my life. But I heard Buzz Aldrin was on it. As in the astronaut. I mean seriously can it get better than an old man trying to keep up. I'm pretty sure he will be able to. I mean he walked on the moon. NASA people have had to go through all those intensive tests, I guarantee he still has some kick in him. Plus you have to be a genius to go to space. So in my mind he is already schooling EVERYONE. I hope I am right about him.

On another note, I am in Yakima. My sister Caroline just smashed her finger in a car door and it swelled a bunch. Kyle and I plan to go camping this week. Probably tomorrow. I am excited and TOTALLY freaked out. I mean its sunny but in Yakima the mornings get COLD. Like 20 degrees cold. CRAP. I hate the cold and all I will have is a stupid tent. I don't want to be a pansy though. Pray for me will you? Pray that my toes don't fall off and a hungry bear doesn't eat me.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Curly Hair

So I have issues with my hair.
I love it.
I hate it.

Sometimes I am proud of my curls and sometimes I wish they would go silky straight.

Curls limit what I can do. I can't go to short because I will have triangle head. If I go to long, its difficult to manage.

I love my curls right after they dry. They are perfect. Minimal frizz. Shiny. Bouncy. Love them.

Then after about 3o minutes they die right before my eyes. I'll take a trip to the bathroom and notice that they are no longer full of life but are frizzy and dull.

URG! I cannot express how frustrating my hair can be at times.

Recently I have discovere Ouidad. It's a salon in NY that specializes in curly hair. They have developed a special way to cut curly hair and a line of products that boosts curly awesomeness.

I have oogled over the website for about a year wishing that I had a million dollars to fly to NY or even to purchase their products. They now sell it at Sephora but I am still a little afraid. Of what I am not sure.

I waste so much money on hair products. Hoping and praying that they will work only to find out they SUCK! sorry. got a little angry there.

But seriously this past month I have purchased about $20 worth of product only to be dissatisfied. Hmmmm.

I think I am gonna have to try this Ouidad stuff. I just want to love my hair and be happy with it.

I hope it works. Hopefully there will be a post to follow....

10 Things I Love...

10. The sun lighting up a room instead of lightbulbs
9. A good book you can't put down even if its 3 a.m.
8. Finding something you absolutely love on sale
7. Getting something other than a bill or bank statement in the mail
6. Finishing a sweat-breaking workout
5. When something you want lines up perfectly in your life and you get it
4. Gelato
3. When someone compliments my hair
2. When my husband and I have enlightening conversations about our life and each other
1. Knowing something amazing in your life is about to happen.....

Sunday, March 7, 2010


So I haven't posted much lately because life has been a whirlwind of craziness. Good craziness.
For V-Day Kyle and I went to the temple and the ballet. We saw Sleeping Beauty and it was Kyle's first ballet ever. It was a little long, but its always amazing to see what ballerinas can do. It's freakish really.

There was a beautiful Sunday we went to Greenlake with our friends Kristin and Holland and had a picnic. We played Yahtzee and Kyle won. As is usual with that game.

I had a girls night with Carrie and Kristin one weekend. We went to Bucca Di Beppo and got cupcake and read postsecret in Barnes and Noble. Next time our plans will work out more. This was more of a trial run....
Yesterday Kyle and I bought me a bike as an early graduation gift. Seattle is such a biking community that its hard to not utilize its trails and opportunities. I love my new bike!
So totally studly right?I got tired because I am out of shape....we ended up stopping at this small beach park. Clearly this will be a new favorite destination.
We also met up with my mom and sisters at the aquarium yesterday. I forgot my camera in the car otherwise there would be some AMAZINGLY hilarious pictures of my sisters. Oh well it was so much fun and I have been wanting to go to the aquarium so it was perfect really. We ate at Elliot's/Steamer's which is where my Grandma used to always take us. It was so delicious! Such a wonderful day, I couldn't have asked for anything better : )