Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Besides dreaming about babies I dream about our future home. Dorky. Most Definitely.

I have always loved that I grew up in the same home my entire life. I loved my house growing up. Big front AND backyard, steep stairs, ancient treasures from previous owners. I loved how the windows went all the way down to the floor and you couldn't open them. I never wanted to. But I loved how I could always see out them and they would always cast the most magical lights across my room as cars drove by.

I also loved working on a farm during the summers for my best friends grandpa growing up. He had a dairy farm and I quickly took to the early mornings, hearty breakfasts, open pastures and roads to run around in, and the daily chores. I learned work ethic there. I had to get up to milk the cows and I had to help fix the fences and feed and wash and I even learned how to wire lights of a car. It was awesome. I learned so many practical things.

These experiences have led me to the conclusion that wherever we live, it must have space to run around, responsibility for my children(I can finally get that pony I have always wanted and make the kids take care of it!), and preferably not too far from town. In my head it looks a little like this:or this

Basically I want to go back in time and live the American Dream. We will see if it happens just as my dreams play out........One can hope right?

Friday, February 19, 2010

I miss this...

Do you girls remember this?

I remember laughing

piling on top of each other

good times
I wish we could all be together again...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Tender Mercies

I am grateful for the tender mercies that get me through each day because lately the days seem short and full of things I don't want to do.

I am grateful for tv on the internet. We don't have cable or anything so being able to watch my shows and be flexible about it is definitely a tender mercy.

Kristin. I am calling her out here but I was just thinking about how I am really glad I am taking a class with her this quarter. Even though I can't always hear what she is saying I am glad I have at least one person who is in the same point of life I am in. She understands when I want to come over to her house because its warm and her couch is comfy. Thanks KW.

Bread. For some reason me and bread have this bond. I love making it. I love trying out new recipes and seeing how they taste. I love the way it looks cooking in the oven getting golden and shaped to perfection. I love kneading it and pretending it's what/whomever I am frustrated at. I love its freshness compared to the store bought stuff. I could go on and on about bread....

My hubby. I insisted we go to the ballet for Valentine's day. It was wonderful and I loved it. It was new to him and he was willing to try it out. He could tell I was excited and listened when I would explain to him what was happening even though he knew already....I can tell he loves me through the little things he does for me each day. I love that he makes me oatmeal and gently wakes me up if I sleep past my alarm. I will cherish this guy forever.

Heavenly Father. Lately, Heavenly Father has been revealing to me His love. In a number a different ways. Through people, prayer, and scripture. Especially at the temple. I love going there and just totally feeling His love for everyone. It makes me happy to be part of a religion that preaches such great love and teaches a complete understanding of that love. The people of the church don't always reflect it perfectly but they try and in those trials they get the best lessons about His love. It's how it's supposed to work.

I am grateful for my family and for them giving me bragging rights. I brag about my brother JP who was just awarded the most humanitarian doctor at his med school. I brag about Robert and his utter buffness and awesomeness. I brag about Mike and his ability to do so much as a 15 year old. I mean he basically takes care of my 6 year old sis, goes to school, plays hockey, and is just about the coolest kid you have ever met, I brag about miss Caroline and her ability to balance, bend, and backflip with such spunk no one has ever seen, plus she is GORGEOUS and doesn't even know it which makes her adorably humble. I brag about Margaret and how she is the smartest, funniest first grader with the freshest sense of style that has ever come to Yakima. Seriously could your little sister pull off a Joan Jett mullet? I love my siblings even though I don't tell them enough. My memories with them spring up everyday and make me smile.

I remember making mud pies and playing acid rain in the summer.

I remember playing catcher with all the neighbor kids (Catcher is basically hide and seek outside)

I remember watching my brothers play Legend of Zelda

I remember dressing Mike up in my ballet outfits wanting a sister so badly.

I remember when we would all have dinner together and Robert, JP, and Dad would all start feeding off of each others hilarity and we would all end up crying. I wish that had happened more.

After writing this post. I realize my life is pretty great isn't it : )

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Warm Rain

It is raining outside. I can hear the drops hitting our roof and windows. It is a sound I cherish. The melodic drumming of raindrops.

I was walking in the rain today loathing it. As you step outside, the cold dampness seeks through the layers of clothing, past your skin and to your bones. You are cold and wet unless you are wearing snow gear, I wasn't.

I was thinking about how much I HATE rain. Then my mind flashed back to when I was a little girl.

When it would rain I would rush outside in excitement. I loved the rain. Usually not even wearing a coat I would dance and get soaked until the worms came out. Then I would rush around trying to catch them before they slinked back into their holes. They always came out though because their homes were being flooded. Poor worms.

I was a weird child collecting worms in the rain, walking barefoot through the damp dust. It stuck to my feet.

I loved this rain because it was warm rain. Warm rain it the most wonderful thing in the world and really only occurs in desert areas.

The smell is intoxicating. You can smell the rain coming and after it leaves. It's as if God is renewing the true smell of the Earth. You want to go outside just to take in that smell.

Being wet is not a big deal because it is just your clothes and hair. The rain is salty and sweet as it falls down the skin of your face and into your mouth.

The rain was such a treasure to me. I cherished it. I LOVED when it rained.

It rained on my birthday once. I had planned a Hawaiian Hello-Kitty party. I was turning ten. My birthday is in August. It NEVER rains in August in Yakima. That was a birthday I will never forget. Partly because my mom made pineapple upside down cake and I realized I hated it, but mostly because all the activities I had planned outside were basically canceled by the fact that my friends and I going to the local pool to swim in the rain. Afterwards we continued to stay outside dancing in my front yard and waving a sign that read "Honk! It's Gina's Birthday!" at every passing car. We would scream with glee when someone honked for me. We choreographed a dance to B*Witched's "Blame it on the weather man" whose chorus repeats, "the rain goes on, on and on again" I loved it. It was a birthday that I will always remember with such distinctness because of its uniqueness. Rain on my birthday. Best present ever.

Rain in Seattle is not warm rain. I was excited to come here for school but no one explained that there are different types of rain. I grew to hate this dismal, depressing rain. I still kinda do.

But I am grateful for the realization I made today: I love warm rain and wherever I settle down will have warm rain. I will be out there with my kids though dancing and singing praying the rain will continue into the night so that we can all fall asleep to the universal sound of rain on roof and windows.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Pigs feet: $3

Reeses Banana cream: $1

Paper legs: $20

Hairspray, gel, and glue: $15

One of your best friends taunting that she is ahead of you in your class reading by sending you a text for each new page she is on:


Sunday, February 7, 2010

It's not possible

But it is.

You can fall in love all over again with the same person.

1.doing dishes: it's so cathartic recipes that go well: pot roast leftovers for a week!
3.home teachers: it's been awhile, I hope they continue to come...
4.husband who does what I want to do because he loves me: Seeing the movie "Dear John"

In this moment life is perfect, except for the fact that I can only breath out of one nostril.

That kinda could be worse.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Fun with the Fam

A large part of the evening was spent by the kids pretending to be Godzilla......

Miss Margaret.

Kyle loves his bread.

Baking is a hobby...

My little brother just killed my little sister!

The delicious dessert.


My cousin Marielle

crab for dinner.

Some vegan dish my mom made.

Uncle Fred, Grandma, and Roberta, a family friend.

My grandparent's friend, my bro Robert, and Marielle again.

Grandpa and hubby.

A wonderful day!

Friday, February 5, 2010

the mask of a blessing

blessings are never fully realized until years past.

before they are blessings they are awful, hideous experiences.

they are gut-wrenching and full of wet eyes.

there is little understanding at the time, often there is blaming and hate.

people tell you that in the future you will be blessed for these experiences, that they are teaching you a lesson.

you might be able to think of what it could be or you might be so full of sadness, anger, depression, and hate that it blocks any vision of the future.

Lately I have had a couple of experiences that have left me crying in my bed with Kyle trying to console and tell me it will all get better and that I will be stronger, happier for it.

I know this. I know this because I can look back on my life now and see how I am better, stronger, and happier for those awful experiences I went through....

I don't know when this wound will become a blessing. It might not happen in this lifetime. Who knows.

But it's one I think about daily. I get bitter and resentful towards those who take for granted what I desire so deeply.

I pray that the atonement may be able to more fully work in my life so that can truly see the blessing of the future, so that I can have some sort of peace about it all.