Friday, November 20, 2015

Hawaii Snapshots

Going to Kauai with my family was the most amazing thing. There were plenty of extra arms to wrangle babies and jump in the waves with them. There were extra eyes and shifts taken for nights out. Sunscreen, shampoo, and diapers were shared. It was a communal effort that made for a blissful trip.

I have a tendency to set my expectations too high, so I decided before we left that I couldn't complain. I thought to myself, "You are going to be in Hawaii with your whole family, even if the sky pours down rain the entire time, just be grateful." Singing this song helped a great deal, especially when my younger siblings had a harder time when things did not turn out perfectly. My main goal for this trip was to visit the beach as much as possible. I did away with my tendency towards lists of places to visit and things to do. It was bliss and it restored me.

I was reminded that this is exactly how I should be living my daily life. Focusing on time with my family and soaking them in.

One day in Hawaii, I spent one-on-one time with Max sitting next to him as he played in the sand while Kyle was at the condo watching Daniel while he slept. I sat there as my child played, no phone (too sandy), no camera (too sandy), no book (too sandy) and felt so connected as I sifted through the sand myself. There was time and space to think, to assess, to step back and gain perspective and what I saw was someone who is constantly waiting for the next thing; for student loans to be gone, for the weekend to show up, for Kyle to get home from work. In that moment, it became very clear to me that I cannot live this life waiting and if I do, I will miss out on what is happening right before my very eyes. I will miss all the mischievous moments, the tender brotherly moments, the bursting with joy moments.

So I made a pact with myself to work harder at bringing that Hawaii mentality to life here in Washington. If you find me walking around in my swimming suit...don't be too surprised!

Hawaii Snapshots (a lot of baby bum shots!):


Friday, November 13, 2015



vacation+computer troubles+sickness+netflix binging+lethargy=no recent blog posts

It made me sad too.

So this week I pulled myself up by the bootstraps. I returned to the things that help me get through the day. We started a daily service activity for the month and it has been such a positive thing for Max and myself. We got outside as a family and I brought my camera and exercised my creative muscles a little bit and I feel so much better overall. Those small simple things always add up and make such a big difference in my life.

So grateful for the beautiful outdoors. So grateful for time to spend with my family.


Max is learning how to make friends and it is so hard not to try to force him to be nice (like that is even possible) and not tease/annoy everyone. Everyday he tells me all about his escapades as school and I have to cringe a little bit, because I so badly just want him to be that sweet and gentle mannered child but that is just not Max. He is strong and loud and funny and a little resistant towards the necessity of kindness. He demands it for himself of course, but anything goes for everyone else in his mind. So we are learning, slowly. But I know that it will stick at some point. I will not give up.

Daniel is also learning kindness in the form of being gentle. He is obsessed with feeding himself yogurt and is walking, going on for about a month now (made the decision that walking>crawling in Hawaii).  He is still smiley and cheesy and squishy and just tries to learn from Max but stay out of the path of his fury. This has made him both tough and sensitive in the process. It is hard to know whether or not to step back or swoop in. Depends on the day and the level of hurt mostly.

Grateful for these days with little ones, as hard as they are. So I am trying to get as much snuggles and coloring and dancing with them and their lack of inhibition in as much as possible. Grateful to be able to.