Even though I had tried to convince myself that I was over my crush, the reality was that I was sixteen and a sixteen year-old girl has very little grasp over her emotions. So my drive up to camp Sunday morning was filled with thoughts of the night before and questions about what this next week would be like. It was the first week of camp and I had been paired with Flip Flop. I was so excited to work with her and knew that we would have a lot of fun together.
The way camp was set up was a little different from the years before so everyone was trying to get a grasp on how to do things. This year the boy and girl cabins within the same age range were gathered for daily activities as a village. So instead of our little girls hanging out with just each other and going boating and doing arts and crafts, we were combined with a bunch of little boys and their male counselors to play with.
Things with Mongoose were a little tense at first. I remember first seeing him after all had taken place and he still wore that smile and walked around like nothing was out of the ordinary. It irked me a bit. I felt so wronged and decided that I would do my best to be civil but I certainly did not need to be nice.
That was easier said than done. I tried my best but within a day he had weaseled his way back into my heart. Did I forget about Carissa? Slightly. The way camp feels is that you are so separated from the world that it disappears. All that matters is what is there. So I was there and Mongoose was there and Carissa was….well she wasn’t there. I think a part of me thought about her from time to time when Mongoose would wink or flirt.
Maybe he had broken up with her? Surely he wouldn’t still flirt with me if he was still with her. Right?
He made me feel special. Like I was the only girl he saw. He smiled all the time but there was this smile that was solely mine. It was brighter and filled my heart. He found little ways that week to single me out and make me feel special. He would always coordinate our breaks to be at the same time. So we would watch a movie or go swimming or for a walk. Mostly this was with other counselors but he always sat by me and made my heart beat a thousand times a minute. Soon he had my watch back and I was wearing his. I think it must have been some sort claim to each other.
All week he would glance at me across the dining hall and I couldn’t help but be happy that he searched my face out in a crowd. As the middle sibling in a family of six children I grew up with severe middle child syndrome. I craved attention and Mongoose gave it in the best way. It wasn’t just that he looked for me in the room or found ways to talk to me, he really saw me. He liked my crazy antics but also just liked normal demeanor as well. He looked into my eyes when we talked which was so refreshing since the majority of high school boys did not look at eyes when they talked to a girl if you know what I mean...
That was the other thing about him, besides the previous weekend where I felt a bit “played,” he was so unlike any other high school boy I had ever met. You know how high school boys feel the need to be so dominant and masculine, they act a certain way and walk a certain walk. Mongoose was so self-assured. He didn’t need any manly rules to tell him how to act. If he wanted to bleach his hair blonde and wear yellow board shorts with wrestling shoes he would. He treated all of the girls at camp with respect too. He was sincerely kind and friendly and was just overall so happy.
All of this combined into me forgetting about his past indiscretion and giving him another chance. The reality of it all was that I was head over heels and your mind doesn’t really work with logic when something stronger controls your heart.
The week with my cabin went well. We only had four girls but they were a blast. We performed a lip sync to Spice Girls and danced in our cabin to our hearts content. I loved worked up at camp with them and the week finished perfectly with our cabin winning the all-camp activity. That night after all the kids had been picked up and camp was cleaned up, we all had to decide what the weekend plans would be. Monday was the fourth of July so we had a long weekend. It was 10pm though, and most of us did not want to make the trek late at night back into town. Our boss let us stay up at camp during the weekend and so a large group of us decided to have a slumber party in the staff room.
Of course Mongoose and I happened to find our sleeping bags strategically placed next to each other and we all fell asleep watching some movie. Then someone who was still awake put in another movie. Then it was 5am and I woke up and there was no movie on. I was lying on my side with my back to Mongoose and he had placed one arm around my waist. It was so comfortable being in his arms and my heart started beating as I realized that he was awake. I could feel his heart and feel his gentle urges to turn me around. He wanted to kiss me.
I debated internally for what seemed like an hour. Do I roll over? What will happen? Will he kiss me? What about Carissa? But he has been so great all week. I really want to kiss him. Should I roll over?
Well you can bet that eventually his persistent tugs at my sleeping bag resulted in what felt like a brash decision to roll over.
As soon as I was on my other side I felt the warmth of his breath and the nudge of his nose. I succumbed to all the sense in my head that told me to resist and I let go. I let go of the whole world around me as he gently kissed me. My body seemed to buzz with the energy of young love and I was so supremely happy to be kissing him. He was a good kisser. I imagine if I was standing I would have gone weak in the knees, but I was lying down and as our first kiss went on I felt the energy of the week take its toll. I was tired, really tired. Plus, all that pent up emotion was finally released and I was exhausted.
Click here for Part 7
The way camp was set up was a little different from the years before so everyone was trying to get a grasp on how to do things. This year the boy and girl cabins within the same age range were gathered for daily activities as a village. So instead of our little girls hanging out with just each other and going boating and doing arts and crafts, we were combined with a bunch of little boys and their male counselors to play with.
Things with Mongoose were a little tense at first. I remember first seeing him after all had taken place and he still wore that smile and walked around like nothing was out of the ordinary. It irked me a bit. I felt so wronged and decided that I would do my best to be civil but I certainly did not need to be nice.
That was easier said than done. I tried my best but within a day he had weaseled his way back into my heart. Did I forget about Carissa? Slightly. The way camp feels is that you are so separated from the world that it disappears. All that matters is what is there. So I was there and Mongoose was there and Carissa was….well she wasn’t there. I think a part of me thought about her from time to time when Mongoose would wink or flirt.
Maybe he had broken up with her? Surely he wouldn’t still flirt with me if he was still with her. Right?
He made me feel special. Like I was the only girl he saw. He smiled all the time but there was this smile that was solely mine. It was brighter and filled my heart. He found little ways that week to single me out and make me feel special. He would always coordinate our breaks to be at the same time. So we would watch a movie or go swimming or for a walk. Mostly this was with other counselors but he always sat by me and made my heart beat a thousand times a minute. Soon he had my watch back and I was wearing his. I think it must have been some sort claim to each other.
All week he would glance at me across the dining hall and I couldn’t help but be happy that he searched my face out in a crowd. As the middle sibling in a family of six children I grew up with severe middle child syndrome. I craved attention and Mongoose gave it in the best way. It wasn’t just that he looked for me in the room or found ways to talk to me, he really saw me. He liked my crazy antics but also just liked normal demeanor as well. He looked into my eyes when we talked which was so refreshing since the majority of high school boys did not look at eyes when they talked to a girl if you know what I mean...
That was the other thing about him, besides the previous weekend where I felt a bit “played,” he was so unlike any other high school boy I had ever met. You know how high school boys feel the need to be so dominant and masculine, they act a certain way and walk a certain walk. Mongoose was so self-assured. He didn’t need any manly rules to tell him how to act. If he wanted to bleach his hair blonde and wear yellow board shorts with wrestling shoes he would. He treated all of the girls at camp with respect too. He was sincerely kind and friendly and was just overall so happy.
All of this combined into me forgetting about his past indiscretion and giving him another chance. The reality of it all was that I was head over heels and your mind doesn’t really work with logic when something stronger controls your heart.
The week with my cabin went well. We only had four girls but they were a blast. We performed a lip sync to Spice Girls and danced in our cabin to our hearts content. I loved worked up at camp with them and the week finished perfectly with our cabin winning the all-camp activity. That night after all the kids had been picked up and camp was cleaned up, we all had to decide what the weekend plans would be. Monday was the fourth of July so we had a long weekend. It was 10pm though, and most of us did not want to make the trek late at night back into town. Our boss let us stay up at camp during the weekend and so a large group of us decided to have a slumber party in the staff room.
Of course Mongoose and I happened to find our sleeping bags strategically placed next to each other and we all fell asleep watching some movie. Then someone who was still awake put in another movie. Then it was 5am and I woke up and there was no movie on. I was lying on my side with my back to Mongoose and he had placed one arm around my waist. It was so comfortable being in his arms and my heart started beating as I realized that he was awake. I could feel his heart and feel his gentle urges to turn me around. He wanted to kiss me.
I debated internally for what seemed like an hour. Do I roll over? What will happen? Will he kiss me? What about Carissa? But he has been so great all week. I really want to kiss him. Should I roll over?
Well you can bet that eventually his persistent tugs at my sleeping bag resulted in what felt like a brash decision to roll over.
As soon as I was on my other side I felt the warmth of his breath and the nudge of his nose. I succumbed to all the sense in my head that told me to resist and I let go. I let go of the whole world around me as he gently kissed me. My body seemed to buzz with the energy of young love and I was so supremely happy to be kissing him. He was a good kisser. I imagine if I was standing I would have gone weak in the knees, but I was lying down and as our first kiss went on I felt the energy of the week take its toll. I was tired, really tired. Plus, all that pent up emotion was finally released and I was exhausted.
Click here for Part 7