Change isn't so bad. It can promise beautiful things but a lot of times it is unpredictable and that can be scary.
This week we have been looking for a place to live. Yep in one week we needed to find a place, sign a lease and move by friday.
It seems doable at the beginning, and then we realized it was Labor day. Then we realized background checks can sometimes take forever. As the days passed the reality that we might have to crash at one of our friend's house started becoming more apparent.
I of course am wonderful during times of stress and uncertainty. Not.
I start to panic internally and my anger fuse is a little shorter than it usually is. This change was starting to freak me out a bit. Especially since I didn't know what I was changing towards, just that my home was going to change.
My prayers became increasingly sincere and full of pleas for guidance, support, help. But, I also noticed that they also became increasingly full of thanks.
When life throws you loopholes there is a tendency to focus on the problem, to analyze and scrutinize until everything is fixed. But I found that the only thing that reduced my anxiety towards finding a place to live was to offer thanks.
Gratitude for the fact that my family can be together forever, gratitude for gospel truths, gratitude for a healthy child, gratitude for wonderful friends, gratitude.... the list would go on and on. Gratitude is what brought me peace and comfort. Knowing that even though I might not have a permanent residence by Friday that I have people who will take care of me. People who will let me sleep in their own bed.
At lunch today we decided we seriously needed to discuss our options for tomorrow if our background check hadn't made it through the system yet. We finalized things and then, miraculously, the phone rang. We were cleared and the lease will be signed tonight. We immediately looked at each other and at our child covered in cheese and decided to offer a prayer of thanks.
Change can scare us away from God, can push us from His loving embrace with thoughts of, "why me?" But it doesn't have to. Change can also drive us towards the only true place of peace and comfort and stability. In the comfort of His love we can recognize all that we have and are because of Him and what a beautiful journey that can be.
If we let it happen.