I am the mother of a little boy. I am not sure what I expected from having a son but my heart certainly cried for lost frilly dresses and tea parts and princess dress up clothes. What was I to do with a boy? Now to be honest, baby boys are pretty much identical to baby girls in smiles and burps and crawling. But the secret no one tells you is that baby boys threaten to steal your heart from your husband.
Once we were having brunch with some friends and Max had a spill and he cried a bit as someone helped him to his feet, this friend consoled him by saying, "That's okay, your a tough boy, it's alright." She then quickly caught herself and interjected, "BUT you are also sensitive and gentle too!"
How often do we demand "toughness" from our boys, which can often cripple them emotionally. While Max is tough (dude, this kid hardly cried when a pine cone was thrown straight into his forehead), he is also very tender. He loves to cuddle and nuzzle into me before bed. He is over the moon about his father and is gentle towards newborn babies. He knows to softly pet dogs and he gives the best surprise kisses.
I love having a little boy to play hide and seek with or chase around. I love watching him explore, whether it is the pages of a book, a piece of fruit, or the contents of my bag. I was given a boy and it has rocked my world in the best possible way. He has changed who I am not only by making me a mother but by giving me the charge to raise a gentleman.
When I imagine his future it is not whether he will be a fireman, doctor, teacher, or CEO. I imagine him as a husband. Being sweet and loving towards his wife. I strive to have him understand what this world is like for women and to do all in his power to support and praise his wife. I see him as a father, with that same enthusiasm he has now playing with his children. Loving them and giving them the attention he received. I see him living a gospel centered life with a firm faith in his Savior. Not because his parents share the same faith but because he developed it on his own. He discovered for himself the joy that putting your trust in the Savior can bring. The healing power, the sweet relief, the peace through trials. I see him standing as a pillar of truth, but also looking towards his community for continual knowledge and understanding of what this world asks of him versus what his Heavenly Father asks of him. I see him striving righteously to know the difference.
I couldn't possibly fathom what life would be like having Maxwell in my life. Oh what a blessing it has been. What a challenge, what a joy, what an utter delight.