Obviously that is not my reality. When I look around I see blocks dumped out, board books littering the floor like a game of hopscotch, we pulled the cushions off the couch to teach Max how to jump off things and I have zero desire to put them back in their place.
I sit here on the floor in front of the heater listening to my husband clean the dishes and wipe down the counters. Every now and then he asks for me to bring him something and my inner diva sighs with annoyance from being disturbed from my web browsing.
It's funny when we compare our imagination to our reality, we realize how short it falls. It can be exhausting as a mother to attempt perfection every day but I feel like we are all trying in the best way to we know how.
A little push and pull and finding the right balance between investing in ourselves so we don't want to pull our hair out and investing in our home, our children, our husband who are all silently asking for time and attention and a little tender love and care.
I struggle with this, I really do.
In my attempt toward perfection something always gets the short end of the deal. At the end of the day, when I realize who got the worst of it I feel awful. I didn't spend enough one on one time with Max, I chose to catch up on tv rather than talk to Kyle, I completely ignored the growing pile of dishes and crumbs that litter the counter in my kitchen. Often multiple things get slighted as I claim rights for myself to completely veg out and try to forget about all those nagging things.
So where do you find the balance? Time and time again I try to look for it in investing in myself because I know that that is necessary. But how do I go about investing in myself. I watch television, go on the hunt for a new pair of jeans, buy some lipstick, google ways to clear up adult acne and swear that I will buy whatever it is at whatever cost to cure myself from feeling less than gorgeous. It seems as if I am investing in myself but really I am just investing in the empty promise that is always out of my reach.
So what should we invest in?
Invest your time in a good book, the scriptures or something else that lifts and enlightens. I am not talking about smutty romance novels or whatever else is easy for you to read. Choose words that challenge the mind. The scriptures are a great place to start especially because they help you develop a relationship with God which is CRUCIAL for personal sanity a midst pretty much every circumstance ever.
Pray, write in your journal, go for a walk, go for a walk while listening to India.Arie, develop a skill (sew! knit! cook! learn how to shoot a gun!), invite friends over, but most of all...
stop trying so hard to be perfect by investing everything in that which doesn't last.
But do try to reach toward perfection. Try to find that which is good and then call upon support from higher sources, for when we do try in all the right ways leaning upon assistance, we will eventually gain the right kind of perfection.