Today I was taught a lesson on patience.
I am positive it wont be my last. You see me and patience have a wierd relationship.
I was able to wait two years for my husband to return from his mission but each week was absolute agony as I waited for the mailbox to have my treasured letter in it.
There are some things that I am willing to be patient with. Others not so much.
Today Isabella (the girl I nanny) woke up at 9am. This means that she would most likely take a nap at 1pm. I took this "most likely" as an absolute. SHE WAS GOING TO TAKE A GOSH DARN NAP AT 1pm!
so usually I will feed her right before "most likely" nap time and she will either doze off in her high chair or she will request my arms (yes she already loves me that much) and I will hum hymns to her. Then she falls asleep.
Neither worked today. She just screamed and resisted and yawned and resisted and screamed some more until I gave up and we went downstairs to play with the cats. Again I tried to lull her to sleep in my arms. Each time she would get that sleepy look in her eye and I knew I would just have to make it last a little longer.
Then some stupid noise would occur or something would catch her eye and BAM! kick scream wriggle.
I would have to let her go.
Ok so probably not the best nanny manners to try to force the child to sleep. In my defense she was visibly tired. I was just trying to help. Plus if she fell asleep that meant I didn't have to continue putting plastic eyeglasses on the dog and pretend he was a doctor.
It was borderline animal cruelty.
Finally I tried humming one more time. It worked. It was 3pm.
I thought about it on my way home. How impatient I had been with her. I felt awful. I was a little snappy and wasn't doing my number one rule that I always try to do with children because I have felt its affects.
That is sending out love and confidence. I believe that kids have a keen sense of whether someone is comfortable around them and genuinely loves them. If you are confidence and show kindness most likely the kid will love you. If you are awkward, unsure of yourself and of your feelings toward said child, they will have an entirely different persona.
Well I think Isabella could sense my frustration and impatience and I lost my confidence and full love towards her. I did apologize to her. She smiled. She thinks I'm crazy.
Maybe I am. Just a little.