Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I keep thinking about the description of me.
I read these books with character descriptions and understand their weaknesses and strengths.
I have also been reading about the lives of the prophets and apostles that lead my church today. I read about defining moments, amazing characteristics that have gotten them to where they are now.
It keeps coming back to me. What is my description? If I were a character in a novel or an important person that people would want to know my bio. What would be said of my life, of who I am?
It plagues me.
You see everyone has ideas about how they are perceived. They also have the burden of knowing who they truly are. They know their own motives and weaknesses.
This is what I do know:
I know I am known for my enthusiasm. I tend to be overly excited about things and try to get others excited as well.
I am also known for my inability to tell a story. I am repetitive and sometimes I go off on strange tangents that are completely unnecessary to everyone but my own mind.
I am known for my conversion. For the rarity of having supportive parents and being married in the temple with no hard feelings.
I am known for my lack of athleticism. I try. Really I do. It just goes beyond my capabilities.
I am known for my love of children. This is something that I know deep in my innermost being. When I see a child. The spirit rushes into me with so much power I always feel like crying. They are so beautiful. Their spirits are so precious in my mind. This coming sunday is the Primary Program (our sacrament meeting is flooded with precious voices singing and bearing testimony). I inevitably cry. They have so much power over me. The good thing is that I know that I have been made to help the children in this world. It is like my sixth sense to know what to say and do to cheer up a child and also to know how to deal with them. I have realized this over the past couple of months.
I am a creative, imaginative, goofy soul. My life is full of hopes and dreams and aspirations. I create my future life over and over in my mind. I can see it, I can smell it, I can feel the spirit there.
I hope to be known as a servant of the Lord. I want to follow the spirit with great diligence and love.
I hope to be known as someone who led a rich life. A life full of family, love, and happiness.
For now I can only replay my character description in my head. I can hope to be the person Heavenly Father sees in me.