Smile?

What is your most self-conscious part of your body? Ok, you don't really have to answer that. In fact don't dwell on it too much. I am going to show you how silly it is to be so self-conscious.

Behold:

My smile.



Silly? Yes.


Still self-conscious? Yes.

What's the problem?

It's crooked. Look at my lower lip. You can see more of my teeth on one side than the other. I don't know why this bothers me but it does.



Did you ever practice smiling for your school pictures in the mirror? Stupid teen magazines suggesting we devote time to perfect our smile. Ugh.

Why did we feed into this?

Um...because we were insecure teenagers.....

But the ramifications? I still am self-conscious whenever someone takes a picture!

Is it year book worthy?

Did you ever have braces? Smiling was the worst then!

Metal mouth stage or hide it behind your lips creating an awkward lumpy lip look.

Either way.

How silly is it that we hold these insecurities. You know what helps when I get over-aware of my smile?

I think about Elder Richard B. Scott a church leader. Random? Not so much.

He came to visit the Seattle area a couple of years ago and being the enthusiastic young convert I wanted to get the best seats to hear him speak. My friend and I ended up being in the very front row. After his message the congregation was able to go and meet him. You know what he said to me?

"You have a lovely smile."

My smile is endorsed by an apostle. Pretty cool huh? Now not everyone has the experience of having an apostle compliment them. But we do all have the capability to acknowledge the love that Heavenly Father has for us and for our bodies. He loves us just the way he made us and each of our so-called imperfections are "lovely."

Photo love.

What's your screensaver? Mine is a slideshow of all the pictures on my computer in shuffle form. I love it. Sometimes when it goes to screensaver I just look at the pictures and realize that I have had a wonderful life so far. I have wonderful friends. Family. Husband. The list could go on. Instead I will randomly select some photos and share the love.

The missing ingredient analogy.

Today the girl I nanny had a meltdown. We were making pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. She had cracked the eggs, poured in the sugar, the flour. the oil, the pumpkin, the chocolate chips. She then crazily dolloped a spoonful onto the cookie sheet covered in parchment paper (easier cleanup). She helped me carry them into the oven. Then I realized I had forgotten the vanilla.

I quickly pulled the cookies out, dumped them back into the bowl, and threw away the parchment paper and added the necessary vanilla extract. I started with a new piece of paper and started dolloping the cookie dough onto it. Isabella had been playing with spilt flour and then walked to the garbage can. She lifted the lid and stuck her head inside. I pulled her away and explained to her that we don't play with garbage, or stick our heads in the garbage can, anything in the garbage is something we no longer need.

Then her heart broke. She started crying uncontrollably. She started yelling in her recently developed voice, "tookie, tookie!"

I laughed a little realizing she thought I threw away her cookies. I explained to her what happened. How we forgot an ingredient so I put our cookies back in the bowl and added it. I had already spooned the cookies and popped them back into the oven. I explained all of this to her.

She kept going back to the garbage and crying. TOOKIE, TOOKIE. I tried not to laugh. After all it isn't funny to laugh when someone's heart is breaking.

Seriously. Her heart was breaking. I could see it happening. But it still seemed silly. They were just cookies.

But she had put in so much effort. She had mixed them together herself. She wanted her cookies.

It took awhile but she finally felt better. It took showing her the cookies in the oven and dolloping some new dough onto parchment paper to calm her down. But it was a slow process. She would stop crying for an instant and then realize what happened to her cookies all over again.

Then the cookies were done. She happily took one and smiled when she realized they were her cookies...


I pondered this process. I am a firm believer that all things are eternal truths and that you can take pretty much anything and relate it to the gospel. So here is my attempt:

We are the little girl (or boy) who have put so much into our lives, our dreams, our desires. We work hard on them. We think they are ready. But Heavenly Father knows better. He knows that there is one ingredient, one experience, one important characteristic that we are missing. He knows we need that extra ingredient to make our lives, dreams, hopes the best they can be. So He sets it aside. He takes some time in our lives to mix everything together so it is truly perfect. So we are really ready and prepared.

But we don't understand. We think He is taking it away. We think it is gone forever. We think a lot of silly things. See He knows we need the vanilla. Without the vanilla our life won't taste quite right. But we don't always understand that. So we meltdown. We freak out. We are so angry, sad, and mad. Why? Why? Why?

We have to wait. We have be patient as our dreams, hopes, lives get really ready. But then they are. Then life is so much more delicious and we realize that we have what we desired all along, and it is even better than we could have ever known.

Count to ten.

Once my grandmother Bebis (my mother's mother) was trying to reach a box in her closet which was on the top shelf. It was too high. She was talking to me and getting increasingly frustrated as she attempted to get this box. She reached a point where she lowered her heels back to the floor and counted to ten. She then reached up and grabbed the box so easily. She looked at me and said,

"Nothing is impossible as long as we count to ten. When we count to ten all fear, frustration, negativity leaves us. Then we can think clearly and see what we need to do."

I don't know if those were the exact words. But I know it was along those lines. Count to ten=surmounting what seems impossible.

I count to ten quite a bit. Her insightful thought enters my mind when I am upset, confused, frustrated, sad, and wishing for an answer. It is like her voice pops into my mind. Count to ten.

Count to ten.

one. two. three. four. five. six. seven. eight. nine. ten.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Because my mind is clear and I see my backward thinking. I see how Satan is trying to trick me.

How amazing it is that sometimes we need something to kick us out of our awful state of mind. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our problems, our mixed up world, that we forget there is an eternal perspective.

I need to write about my life.

I need to write about who I was, and the process of becoming who I am. This happens partly in this space. But I need to physically write it out. I need to analyze it. I need to try to explain to others how their entire life is a preparation for who they will become.

It is hard to analyze your own life.

For now I will count to ten and try with all my might to overcome my weaknesses.

Reoccuring thoughts

My drive to work each morning....

I keep thinking about the description of me.

I read these books with character descriptions and understand their weaknesses and strengths.

I have also been reading about the lives of the prophets and apostles that lead my church today. I read about defining moments, amazing characteristics that have gotten them to where they are now.

It keeps coming back to me. What is my description? If I were a character in a novel or an important person that people would want to know my bio. What would be said of my life, of who I am?

It plagues me.

You see everyone has ideas about how they are perceived. They also have the burden of knowing who they truly are. They know their own motives and weaknesses.

This is what I do know:

I know I am known for my enthusiasm. I tend to be overly excited about things and try to get others excited as well.

I am also known for my inability to tell a story. I am repetitive and sometimes I go off on strange tangents that are completely unnecessary to everyone but my own mind.

I am known for my conversion. For the rarity of having supportive parents and being married in the temple with no hard feelings.

I am known for my lack of athleticism. I try. Really I do. It just goes beyond my capabilities.

I am known for my love of children. This is something that I know deep in my innermost being. When I see a child. The spirit rushes into me with so much power I always feel like crying. They are so beautiful. Their spirits are so precious in my mind. This coming sunday is the Primary Program (our sacrament meeting is flooded with precious voices singing and bearing testimony). I inevitably cry. They have so much power over me. The good thing is that I know that I have been made to help the children in this world. It is like my sixth sense to know what to say and do to cheer up a child and also to know how to deal with them. I have realized this over the past couple of months.

I am a creative, imaginative, goofy soul. My life is full of hopes and dreams and aspirations. I create my future life over and over in my mind. I can see it, I can smell it, I can feel the spirit there.

I hope to be known as a servant of the Lord. I want to follow the spirit with great diligence and love.

I hope to be known as someone who led a rich life. A life full of family, love, and happiness.


For now I can only replay my character description in my head. I can hope to be the person Heavenly Father sees in me.

On sadness and hope and the future

So I haven't come out right and said it. Mainly because it is hard to talk about. But I am ready. I am ready to let people know. I also think that it isn't talked about enough. Like it is taboo or something. 

In July I had a miscarriage. Kyle and I had been expecting to expect and the wonderful day came when the hope came that our family would start. I got attached. I immediately was thinking way too far ahead of myself.

Then the unexpected came. Me? I thought this happened to other people...not me.

But it happened. I couldn't deny that fact.

Besides from the physical pain, the emotional pain was the worse. It still is. 

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who worked with me through this time in my life. Who gave me the comfort of the Holy Ghost and the answers to questions in my mind. 

I had a lot of questions.

Mainly I wondered why I wasn't healing. I kept thinking...I can get over this right? It happens to a lot of people. Why am I making it a big deal?

Well I explained Heavenly Father's answer here:

http://gidgetgoestorome.blogspot.com/2010/08/coming-around-and-ten-things-i-love.html

Beyond that point things have gotten MUCH better. I have come to terms with this trial. I am most assuredly not done with it. But I TRUST my Heavenly Father. I trust in His plan, in His will, and in my trial. Because I know it is making my desire that much stronger, my heart that much softer, my testimony that much more beautiful. I feel great.

Except when I learn that someone I know is expecting. In the past two weeks, three people I know have announced they are expecting.

I grin and smile and then go home and cry. 

There is no official doctrine of when spirits enter the body of a child. My personal feeling is that the child I was expecting is still waiting to come down. I can still see them. I know that I just have to wait a little longer.

This is why I cry. Because I just want to hold them. I want to feel their soft skin. I want to hear their giggles and cries. I want to find joy in their life. 

I know I will. I just have to wait.

But until then I will continue to prepare. 

I am going to better myself so that I am fully ready. Because I know I have a great charge. I have a charge to be a mother. To raise my children in love and righteousness. I know that my children will grow to serve the Lord. 

I must be ready to prepare them. 

I have the greatest desire to instill in them a pure testimony, a solid faith. I want to give them all that Heavenly Father has in store for them. 

I want them to be smart and humble, kind and witty, spiritual and gracious. 

I know that I must prepare now for this. I must create a home where the Spirit resides. Where these principles can be taught and developed and solidified into traits.

My heart is so full when I write about my experience. It has been stretched with deep sadness only to be filled with utter and pure joy in the love of my Father in Heaven.

I pray that anyone who has gone through this experience or will go through this experience may turn to their Father for support. That they may find the peace and comfort He will provide.

Because it is so very real.

Obsession.

I am in love with......




TOMATOES!!!!

Goodness they are so tasty and delightful and just perfect with everything. Are you obsessed with tomatoes?

You should be.

Tomatoes are a part of wonderful foods such as

Caprese salad. SO FABULOUSLY AMAZING AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE SALAD.
tomatoes, mozzarella, basil, and some olive oil and I am in heaven.

They make a GREAT Caprese chicken sandwhich at Red Robin. Try it. You will gobble it up.

Tomatoes with salmon in a lemon-dill-butter sauce over a bed of smashed potatoes. (You can get this at Salty's in West Seattle)

I just ate grilled chicken sandwich with tomatoes, avocado, and dijon mustard. I almost died.

I love that tomatoes are so versatile. You can put them in a salad, a sandwhich, or just eat them like an apple.

When I am able to have a garden on my own. I full plan on having many many many types and varieties of tomatoes.

I just love the things.

Now that you think I am a freak for blogging about tomatoes on a Sunday I will share with you a spiritual highlight of the week.

This week as I was trying to improve and simplify my love (remember focusing on the fundamentals) I fell back in some things but improved greatly in others. That is just how life works.

My tv/internet addiction is hard to break. Initially I had a plan to go fully without. Then it turned into I can watch tv with Kyle. Then I was just watching it by myself like the addict that I am. Hmmm.

Right. The highlight.

Even though I am struggling with my media ways. I woke up every week this morning at 6:30 am and was able to study my scriptures for 20 minutes or more. It was wonderful. I had a notebook by my side and asked some more life questions that the scriptures make me think about. I found such great power in studying the scriptures. I always do. But there is something about setting aside time for it. Not moving time to fit it in. But saying, "This part of my day is for the scriptures. It is for the study and enlarging of my spirit and mind." Also Kyle and I have consistently had family scripture study. It is so wonderful and definitely brings us closer together as we discuss the gospel and the important truths we know.

So I am curious...is anyone else trying to simply? To focus on the fundamentals? Or am I just writing to the wind. It's ok if I am. The wind is a pretty good listener.

Ok. Sorry for being odd right there...it happens.

I know that so many blessings will continue to come forth as I continue to follow the counsel of the prophet and apostles. I can't wait to see what those blessings are.

Past psychology

On Wednesday, I took a rest day from exercising. It was necessary. Gotta take it slow ya know?

Well yesterday....I had to break the power of pyschology. You see if I exercised on Thursday then I would be ok. But if I took another day off...well then exercising would go down the drain.

Now what would keep me from exercising?

My hair.

I got my hair cut yesterday and my lovely stylist Brooke straightened it for me. When she straightens it, it is so much better than my own attempts. It's softer, straighter, it's just beautiful.

I relish in my hair when it is like this. I try to make it last for at least two days.

Exercising makes you sweaty and it would ruin my hair.

Hello. My name is Gina and I am a girl. A silly girl who loves when her hair is straight and looks like regular straight hair.

So did I exercise?

Yep. After laughing with Kyle over the fact that not exercising over hair would be ridiculous. I put on workout clothes laced up my shoes and grabbed my iPod. Shoot.

iPod dead. My luck right?

Thankfully I have Jillian's 30 Day Shred DVD and it is pretty hard core.

So I pulled back my hair. Wore a headband to keep my hair out of my sweaty nasty face, and I exercised.


Have you ever done anything so silly?

Consecrating and Fundamentals

As you might have guessed I was in Chicago this past weekend.



Chicago during General Conference? Yeah I didn't think ahead very well. But it worked out and I was quickly able to watch conference on my own. However, I will strive to not do it again.

Conference became my solace during the trip. For those of you who do not know what it is, it happens every six months where a weekend is set aside in our church where we are spiritually enlightened on all topics by prophets, seers, and revelators. I always look forward to hearing their inspiring words. This time it fed me immensely as I spent far too much time alone with a two-year-old.

So many questions came to my mind during conference:

How can I consecrate my life more fully to the Lord?
How do I master the fundamentals of life?
What are my fundamentals?
What does the gospel mean to me personally?
When do I struggle most?
Do I know what's important?
How and when do I choose faith personally?
When have I shown lack of faith?
Do I look to the arm of flesh?
How can I utilize truth in my life more fully?
Do I have the believing heart of a child?
Am I being what I want to become?
How can I deepen my relationship with God?
What are the anchors of my faith?
What are the deep things I have to be grateful for?
Do I neglect the Holy Ghost?
Am I filled with light?
What have I done with Christ's name?

Sorry if that was an overload.

My mind was so full. I thought about where I am in life. I am happy but I want to improve. I started piecing together Elder Christofferson's (an apostle) and President Uchtdorf's (Second Counselor in the First Presidency) talks. I had an epiphany you might say, a revelation from my Heavenly Father of what I needed to do.



I needed to apply conference.

Last week a day of the week would look something like this.

Set alarm for 6:45 but actually wake up at 7:10am. Rush to get ready.
Attempt to read my scriptures while Isabella is distracted.
Play with Isabella. Eat her leftover food (crackers, chicken nuggets, toddlery food (word rating? 5)).
Come home from work. Sit on couch. Grab computer. Turn on tv.
Facebook stalk. Blog Stalk. Watch whatever is on tv.
Maybe play cards with Kyle.
Eat, maybe prepare first, dinner with the grandparents.
More computer, more tv.
Bedtime around 11pm.

Yes. It was a sorry life. I am not proud of it. But I have a sincere desire to change.

This is why I love conference. It brings to mind the things I need to work on. What I need to improve upon and it gives me the motivation to do it. It reminds me that I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who sent me here to perform a great work. Weather it is being a daughter, a mother, a leader, whatever. I am here for a purpose and I need to consecrate myself. Commit myself to the Lord. I need to prepare now. So that I can be ready.

But also so that I can truly ENJOY my life. No living with my grandparents isn't ideal. But I can make it as enjoyable as possible.

So, here is the plan.

What are the ways in which to consecrate according to Elder Christofferson?
1.purity
2.work
3.respect for physical body
4. service
5.integrity

What are the fundamentals according to President Uchtdorf?
1. relationship with God
2. relationship with Family
3. relationship with others
4. relationship with ourselves



To combine these I have devised my own list. A list of things that I want to focus on this week. That I want to improve upon. So far I have been greatly blessed in fulfilling my desire.

1. Take care of my body. My body is precious. Just because I look healthy does not mean I AM healthy. I need to really exercise. I need to eat well. I need time to rest properly. I need to find my work fulfilling which means I need to use this time as a time to prepare for when I become a mother. I need to seek out that which is good and find joy in the small and precious things of life.

2. I need to strengthen my relationship with God. I need to set aside time to study my scriptures. I need to be more diligent in my prayers and more sincere in what I say. I need to go to the temple to commune with Him. I need to repent and seek forgiveness often.

3. I need to spend more quality time with my husband. I need to take advantage of all the time we have together. I need to listen to his counsel. I need to turn off the tv and shut the computer when we are together. I need to express love and gratitude more often. I need focus when we are together.

4. Service. I need to focus on others more often. I want to be a wonderful visiting teacher. I want to be an inspiring Sunday School teacher. I want to volunteer with teens. I want to give them hope in this scary world.

The actuality of my desires is coming true. I have exercised for the past two days which for me is very rare. I feel this power within me pushing forward towards a greater relationship with my Heavenly Father than I have ever known. I have set aside time to read my scriptures and study them. I have turned to my father in prayer. I have meditated. I have enjoyed time with my husband (today we played ping pong and pool at the Institute).

I already find my life more fulfilling.

I write this all because I want to continue to explore and examine my experience as I focus on the fundamentals and consecrate myself to God. I also write this with a sincere hope that others may take on the challenge.

Rid your life of the unnecessary. Focus on what is important. Focus on your family, on God, on serving, on strengthening your spirit and ultimately YOU!

I know that the words of the living prophets are true. I have felt the power of what they say in the realest sense and I know that as all desire to change their lives for the better that that same power will come into their lives and bring so much joy and happiness.

Trust me. Trust Him.


p.s. All the painting on here are Minerva Teichert. I am in LOVE with the beautiful art that she does. I want them in my home. There is a spirit about them that I cannot explain.

Dear Kyle Danger (my husband)

I miss you. This is the longest we have ever been apart and I have decided I do not like it one bit. Chicago is a beautiful and interesting city, but I keep wishing you were making jokes beside me. The first night was the worst. I couldn't fall asleep. Usually you keep my back warm. I had to line up pillows and snuggle with them instead. Jealous? I wouldn't be. They are just pillows.

Yesterday Isabella and I walked around Millenium park. Thy have a giant mirror bean. It is a strange. They also have these towers of a giant face with water falling all around. Chicago has weird style. You would have all sorts of cheesy corny jokes. We went to see the impressionists at the Art Institute and Isabella wasn't impressed. I was saving that one up. But seriously I wanted to stare longer at Van Gogh, Monet, Renoir, Edgar Degas, and more. I love art. I wish I could paint. Can I take painting classes? Maybe in the future?

I worked longer than I was supposed to. Her mom didn't come back till 10pm (lost track of time...) I still needed my me time. So I watched Silence of the Lambs and stayed up far too late. You would have told me to go to bed. You would have turned off the tv. I wish you would have because I slept through my alarm and her mom ended up calling me.

A miracle happened this morning. Her mom said I could use her computer today because she bought the 24hour wireless internet. I don't have to pay 16 dollars to watch general conference and I can watch it on a computer that works! I would have done it anyway. Tender mercies

Oh I miss you. Being apart makes me realize how much I depend on you. How much I value your time and words. Your love. I miss your kisses the most....

Goodbye for now. Only one more night. I love you.

Love,
Gina Presott